


Behind Masks

by Bubbly980



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms, Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: After meeting Matsuda again, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Light Is Not Kira, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Beyond Birthday Being Creepy, Beyond Birthday is his own warning, Hidden Talents, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Intelligent Matsuda, M/M, Mother-Son Relationship, Sort Of, Their relationship is complicated, Yandere Mikami, seriously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-25
Updated: 2019-04-06
Packaged: 2019-05-28 13:44:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15050414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bubbly980/pseuds/Bubbly980
Summary: After confirming that Light isn't Kira, L and Light begin a relationship while trying to find the real Kira. Elsewhere, Matsuda is starting to have dreams and memories of his past, something that was lost to him after gaining amnesia. However, it is something he is trying to avoid after one horrific memory. Curious, L and Light dig into Matsuda's past and find shocking truths about him, truths that explain him as a person. As they did in deeper, the old Touta Matsuda is resurfacing unknowingly as the current Matsuda is fearing that it might have been because of him that Kira was born. And is it possible that he really was a Death Note user before?





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, I just want to clear up a few things in this story. This story was created after I ready a quote that made me think why Matsuda was so loyal. In this story, Matsuda is going to be the main character and be described as intelligent by his old classmates. The reason as to why I will make him intelligent will explained at some point but the reason as to why he's not currently in because he has amnesia. Chapters will switch to different couples or characters. Overall, I hope you like the story.

_Thump_.

"Pl-Please s-stop it!" A young teen cried out in pain before he curled up. Multiple kicks soon followed and were delivered to him, a loud _crack_ echoing in the empty hallway of the school.

"Awww, what's the matter? Is the pain really that unbearable, Touta?"

"All of this could've been avoided if you had just done our homework like we asked you to!"

"You look so pathetic, Matsuda."

Touta Matsuda screamed as another one of his classmates kicked him in the face. He felt blood rush out of his nose and tears started falling from his brown eyes. He felt himself be picked off the floor and barely looked up before he was punched in the eye. Feeling his back hitting a locker, he gave out a cry and felt his world spinning.

Drowsiness consumed his whole body as Touta muttered, "No more," and passed out. Blood dripped to the floor from his wounds and the bullies 'eww' ed in disgust.

"Maybe we should lock him up in the bathroom. That'll teach him that we aren't messing around," one of the bullies suggested as he and his two companions walked away.

Throwing him a dirty look, another replied, "Everybody left, you big moron! We'll be in trouble if he doesn't go home and will snitch on us."

"I think Matsubaka has already learned his lesson. Leave him be guys," the last one of them spoke up.

"Whatever," both replied and trailed behind their friend.

Elsewhere, Touta was struggling to keep awake despite how tempting it was to fall asleep. After ensuring that he would be able to stay up, he slowly got up on his feet, using the locker as support. Touta winced and looked at the nearest window close to him to look at his injuries.

Seeing his reflection, bile rose up his throat but he swallowed it down as Touta's eyes started to burn and his vision blurred. His left eye was now swollen and black, a small trail of blood under it. His lips were swollen and smeared with blood that he could taste on his front teeth. And to match his face wounds, blood drops kept dripping from his nose to the ground. Teeth clenched, he begin to walk outside of school and hidden, headed home limping and wheezing.

* * *

Touta stopped in front of his house and stared. The house was constructed the same like the others layered across the neighborhood, three windows on the top floor with a big window on the left bottom side and a wooden brown door. There was a front porch that looked ready to fall apart at any moment and Touta twitched at the memory as to why. The front lawn was filled with half-dead flowers and a pathway made of concrete interrupted the middle of it. A fence that was as tall as three feet surrounded the whole house.

He tried to think up an excuse as to why he was late arriving home and his appearance if his parents were home before deciding to sneak in by the backdoor. Carefully, he opened and closed the fence door before Touta walked, or limped due to his injuries, around the house and stopped at the corner. He listened for any noise as he kept his breathing to a minimum. Hearing nothing, he figured his parents were still out and used the backdoor to get inside.

Touta limped past the kitchen and carefully tried to walk up the stairs without leaving any blood stains behind. He went to his room and grabbed whatever clean clothes he could find and went directly to the bathroom.

Turning on the shower, he slipped out of his bloodied clothes and felt grateful it was the weekend or he'd have a hard time explaining what happened to his uniform. Touta stepped into the shower and began washing himself.

Fifteen minutes later, he stepped out and dried himself with the towel hanging on the doorknob. He opened the mirror and reached for the alcohol and bandages. Deciding it would be better to just clean up the wounds that his clothes couldn't hide, he was careful to try to make them as faint as possible, especially his right leg that was still bleeding but not by much anymore. He was especially cautious with his swollen eye as he cleaned up the cut beneath it.

He took about five more minutes to treat his injuries before dressing up in lose black sweats and a beige T-shirt. He then exited the bathroom and made a decision not to eat for dinner tonight as his parents would clearly notice his eye was swollen.

However, Touta jumped and hid half of his face behind the bathroom door as his mother was five feet away. 

 "Matsui!" Mrs. Matsuda cried out in joy and walked towards him, capturing him in a hug. Panicked, he kept hugging her when she was about to release him.

 "Mom, when did you get home?" He questioned awkwardly before realising he had left his clothes carelessly on the bathroom floor.

"Just a few minutes ago, dear, " she murmured. "I decided tonight for dinner we would have your favorite curry. After all, after seeing your grades, it calls for a celebration."

" I-I'm not hungry. I ate a lot at school that I feel like I'll explode if I eat anymore, " Touta lied and wished for a distraction as he knew his mother was growing suspicious.

"Really? That's odd, Matsui, I-" Mrs. Matsuda said before she was interrupted by a knock on the door. "That must be  Mrs. Shinya. I asked her if she could drop off something. I suppose I shouldn't keep her waiting. I'll talk to you laterlater, sweatheart."

 "Sure," he replied and watched her go downstairs. Touta then scrambled to the bathroom and quickly picked up his clothes and looked around to make sure he hid  all the evidence. He then ran to his room and locked it.

He threw his clothes in a basket before sitting on his bed. He grimaced as pain erupted throughout his body. He groaned and layed down. Feeling sleepy, Touta closed his eyes.

In a few minutes, he was unconscious and didn't hear the screaming coming from downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matsuda is having a bad day but then something happens...

Glorious, heavenly light shone through the light, whispy clouds, signifying it would indeed be a sunny day. They parted, presenting a beautiful sky beneath. It was amazing, almost magical. Unfortunately for Touta Matsuda, it was already a horrible day and the weather just worsened his mood.

Thanks to another one of Ryuzaki's (also known as L) and Light's fights, Matsuda ended up staying later the night before, cleaning up after them and leaving around 11. Watari would've done it but currently, he was out of the states for unknown reasons. And then, if things could've gone any worse, his car wouldn't start and was forced to walk to his apartment. Which was an hour and fifteen minutes long.  
He then arrived past midnight and discovered he had left the keys in his car. Frustrated and tired, he searched for a worker. By the time he managed to go to sleep, it was close to two in the morning.

Matsuda had then woken up to the sound of his phone ringing and reluctantly answered the call. "Hello?"

" _Matsuda! Where are you right now?!"_

Matsuda jumped at the sudden volume of Aizawa's voice and his head snapped up to check his alarm. His eyes widened in shock at the time and rushed out of bed.

"I'll get to the headquarters as soon as possible!" Matsuda exclaimed to Aizawa before hanging up.

And that is how he ended up taking the bus ten minuted later, tired and on the verge of snapping at everyone around him. He reminded himself to start acting cheerful by the time he met up with the rest of the task force and L.

Even if that would be a challenge considering how frustrated he was with Ryuzaki and Light, who would for strange reasons, start a fight including physical violence. Matsuda was honestly surprised that they hadn't visited the hospital yet with all the injuries they received from each other.

Sighing, Matsuda shifted closer to the windows as another person entered the bus. He looked at the passing buildings and wondered if he would ever be able to visit them without it involving the Kira investigation. About a year ago, now that he thought about it, was when Matsuda hadn't been working with L nor the rest of the task force excluding Soichiro Yagami. But then Kira, an unknown person who couldn't be identified as a good person or a bad person in the public's eye, appeared.

Kira was a person with the strange ability to kill people with just a name and face, though in the second Kira's case, with just a face. Both Kira's were known to kill criminals and police officers who got in their way like the FBI agents. 

L, along with Matsuda and the task force, had been trying unsuccessfully to catch Kira close to a year now. Kira was known to kill criminals with heart attacks, but later found to be able to kill them using various other methods and could control them before dying.   
Kira had appeared around the end of November and according to Ryuzaki, had killed Otoharada as an experiment. They had managed to prove Kira's existence after a broadcast and his location thanks to L even if it resulted to the death of another criminal, Lind L. Tailor. Even if the broadcast had failed its purpose, Tailor still would've died from his scheduled execution.

A few weeks after that incident, twelve FBI agents had died of heart attacks. But from what was discovered, Naomi Misora, fiance of the deceased agent Raye Pember, disappeared without a trace and thought to be dead despite the lack of a body. From then on, surveillance was placed on the Yagami and Kitamura household, permission granted on the chief's side.

But then around April, a second Kira appeared and killed Ukita, one of the members of the task force. And because Matsuda didn't exactly know Ukita, he only showed pity to hid death and brushed it off. Shortly after that, the chief's eldest and only son, Light Yagami, joined the task force.

By the end of May, Misa Amane, a model and Light's girlfriend, was arrested and placed under confinement as she was accused of acting as the second Kira. A few days later, Light was placed under confinement as well after claiming that he feels he might actually be the first Kira. 

Matsuda was shocked by his declaration but strangely enough, felt that there was something weird about that statement. So in his confusion and bewilderment, he just stared as Light was dragged off to his confinement cell. Those feelings intensified when the chief asked to be confined as well and anger flashed through him for a moment before it was replaced with understanding.

Two weeks after the confinement, criminals begin to die again but L didn't release Light or Misa. Matsuda's anger returned when L declared that he would keep them in their cells to test the suspects and see if they would still confess. 

But something strange happened a month after the whole confinement thing. L had decided to release both Light and Misa with no explanation. And despite how L had released them, it was decided that they should still be under surveillance, particularly Light who he chained himself to for the sake of the investigation. And if that wasn't strange enough, Light had agreed with no problem. Well for the rest of task force anyway.

Despite what people thought, Matsuda wasn't as stupid as they thought he was. Now Matsuda wouldn't call himself a genius but he did have some brilliant thoughts here and there that he never bothered to say out loud when he discovered something relevant to the Kira case. It didn't matter if he didn't say anything though, as either Light or Ryuzaki would pick up on the clue and voice them out loud. 

In this case, Matsuda could tell that the relationship between Light and L had changed. Without it being that noticeable, Light had become more clingy when it involved and quick to defend L. Matsuda suspected that it might be Stockholm syndrome with Light's new behavior but decided not to voice it because Light didn't seem to be emotionally hurt and it wasn't Matsuda's buisness. On L's part, he seemed more opened with Light and sometimes offered Light some of his sweets. To Matsuda, that was practically a marriage proposal as L didn't seem like the kind of person to share his sweets.

However, the downside to this was the fights that occurred between them daily. Matsuda wasn't exactly sure what caused them but he had a sneaking suspicion that it might be sexual frustration. Then again, he could be wrong. After all, he wasn't exactly at their level of intellectual. The only thing Matsuda did was observe them while playing the idiot card and keeping his observations to himself.

Matsuda was never sure why he didn't say what he came up with to the other members of the task force. The only thoughts that entered his mind are something along the lines of 'I fade into the background, afraid of saying the wrong thing and being judged for it.' He never understood why he thought like that but he suspected it had something to do with his childhood. His childhood was something that very few people knew about, including himself.

He had woken up one day in the hospital and was told he had been in accident. He had only been seventeen back then and had been very confused by his surroundings. He had been asked a series of questions from who he was to his relatives to what he remembered. Matsuda had only nodded, shrugged, or shook his head when questioned, looking at his hands the whole time. He was then identified with amnesia and released from the hospital a week later with Soichiro Yagami and welcomed into his household while his life was being sorted out.

What none of those people discovered was that Matsuda did actually remember someone, or at least what they kinda looked like. He had the memory of a young man with shriveled black hair and a pair of broken glasses on his face. Other than that, that was everything he remembered.

Matsuda snapped out of his thoughts as he realized the bus had stopped close to where his destination was. He struggled through the mass of bodies blocking his exit and tripped as he barely got out. He groaned before slowly rising to his feet.

Looking at his watch, he shrieked and ran to the facility that was five blocks away. Matsuda had to apologize to the people he bumped into or close to or the person who almost ran him over. Unfortunately for him, just as he was a block away, he ran into somebody and both landed on their butts. 

"I'm so sorry!" Matsuda cried out, ignorant to the stares he was receiving. He rose up quickly and offered a hand to whoever he had bumped into. His brown eyes widened as they connected with the stranger's weird colored eyes.

He felt his head throb in pain but ignored it as a familiar feeling rushed through him. But he quit it when he felt his phone vibrate. Matsuda felt the person's hand connect with his and helped them up. Blushing in embarrassment, he bowed and muttered an apology before running off again.

Not looking back, he didn't notice the person looking at him with a weird expression on their face. Nor did he notice them grin and point towards him, mouthing something before walking off into the streets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I apologize for not updating sooner but I've been trying to work out my whole schedule. So after making changes and stuff, I've decided to update every Sunday from now on at 8 p.m. Also, I' m considering making a Death Note AU starring mostly Light and Mello as the main characters with the secondary characters being L, Near, Matt, Misa, Takada, Mikami, Ryuk, Rem, and Watari. Light and Mello are basically like a mix of boxers and wrestlers who were part of an illegal experiment against their will and were rescued. Both came out damaged and unstable but decide to be part of an upcoming sport where people with abilities fight. Light has L and Watari to win his matches while befriending Misa, Takada, Mikami, and Rem. Elsewhere, Mello has Matt and Near to help him out. I'm not exactly sure of the details but it's something like that. If you like the idea, leave a comment to consider it.


	3. Similarities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Matsuda starts to remember something, L thinks about his old and new successors and just how similiar they are.

“Bastard!”

 

“Do not act like I am the bad guy here! It is your fault for misinterpreting my words!”

 

“Ryuzaki, your tone literally suggested-”

 

_ “Stay out of this, Mr. Aizawa!” _

 

Matsuda stood still, barely passing the doorframe. He blinked, mouth agape at the scene in front of him.

 

“Light, Ryuzaki does have a point about-”

 

“Mr. Yagami! I can’t believe you’re taking his side!”

 

“Great! Light’s really pissed if he’s calling his own father by his last name.”

 

Matsuda began to panic as he realised a fight was about to brew. That would mean a mess for him to clean up since he normally did that type of work.

 

“ _ Aizawa, if you want to live. SHUT. UP.” _

 

_ “ _ Light-kun, I would appreciate it if you would stop disrupting the Kira case.”

 

He ran in between L and Light just as Light finally decided to throw a punch.

 

_ Smack! _

 

Flying off his feet for a few seconds, Matsuda hit the wall with a loud BANG! echoing the stunned room.

 

Everybody just stared at Matsuda’s crumbled form as he laid slumped against the wall, trying to process what had just happened a minute ago.

 

_ “Ughh… _ ” Matsuda groaned as he tried to stop his world from spinning. Soichiro and Mogi ran to Matsuda to help him up as Aizawa went to go get an ice pack. Light rushed forward and dragged L with him.

 

“Matsuda! Matsuda! Can you hear me?” Soichiro asked him, concern plainly displayed across his face. He tried to say something but ended up giggling as pain finally erupted from the part of his face where Light had punched him.

 

“Matsuda, you idiot! Why’d you rush in like that?” Aizawa snapped. “You shouldn’t have barged in like that!”

 

Though Aizawa was concern for Matsuda’s well-being, he didn’t realise how his words had an effect on Matsuda.

 

Body tensing up, Matsuda looked at Aizawa so quickly that his head pounded. His eyes widened in shock and something flashed in his mind.

 

He screamed out loud and began to thrash. 

 

_ “Baka! Quit being noisy!”  _

 

_ “No please! I didn’t mean to.” _

 

_ “Shut up!” _

 

_ Crunch. Whoosh. Thud. _

 

**“Next time you won’t be so lucky.”**

 

“-uda. Matsuda?!”

 

Eyes snapping open, he noticed he was on the ground. He whimpered and fell to the ground, tears starting to fall as so many emotions began to surface.

 

“What the, what’s going? Matsuda, say something!” Light cried out and kneeled next to him, L once again being dragged, much to his annoyance.

 

L studied Matsuda as he tried to come up with a reason as to why he was acting like this. Maybe Light’s punch was too much and he was just overreacting with the pain. Or maybe a triggered a bad memory.

 

Before meeting the task force in person, he had read their files to find out more about them.He had read on Matsuda’s file that he had lost his memories from some type of accident. He didn’t focus much on that because he hadn’t felt like it was important.

 

But looking at Matsuda now, L now realised just how serious it was. There was a 93 percent chance that Matsuda had remembered a memory, especially a bad one based on his reaction.

 

The only reason the percentage was that high was because he had gone through this with another person. A young child to be precise. And one of his successors.

 

Mello.

 

He didn’t necessarily meet him in person but on a computer. L had been watching him from time to time to see how he was progressing and realised something very concerning. Mello acted very similar to Beyond Birthday, one of his original successors and a murderer.

 

Beyond Birthday, or BB for short, had been raised in a horrible city with an even worse neighborhood where he had apparently fought to survive and abused harshly by his own parents.

 

When L first saw him, he wanted so badly to murder those people but had not done so because of Watari. But he noticed that BB was also very intelligent. His thoughts were proven when BB received high praise on how smart he was and came to a decision.

 

L would offer him to be part of the successor program. And would later come to regret it.

 

Beyond had accepted and when meeting the other person, A, in the program, both hit it off quite well.

 

There was never a time where either of them were ever seen seperated and on those rare occasions that they did, they knew where the other was.

 

Both protected each other from the rest of the orphan, or most specifically, Beyond. L later found out that by the time A and B were 14, they had fallen in love.

 

But things began going downhill. A year after they began to date, A began to stress out. All of a sudden, expectations were being given to him and A tried to meet them all. B helped but it wasn’t enough.

 

L had been contacted by A but he had been busy at that time and by the time he could do anything, A had commited suicide.

 

A was found by Beyond in their room, body hanging. Watari and Roger found him laughing on the floor at the body before being dragged out of the room. Shortly after that, BB left the orphanage.

 

L thought that would be the last time he would hear of him but he was proven wrong. BB began killing with one goal in mind: beat L by leaving behind an unsolved case that he wouldn’t be capable of solving.

 

Fortunately though, the deceased Naomi Misora had found out his plan and stopped him.

 

After all of those events, L finally felt that that would’ve been the end of Beyond Birthday but he was proven wrong.

 

Just before the LABB case had started, Mello appeared at the orphanage. L saw potential in him and reluctantly restarted the successor program.

 

Mello had been escalated to be given the offer of being a successor of L and accepted without hesitation. Things were going smooth. But then Near came into the picture and things once again went downhill. 

 

Near came in first place in the ranks and Mello let it slide at first because he was confident that he would take back the position of first place again.

 

But as the year progressed and Near continued to excel, Mello began to act violent with the albino. He ruthlessly destroyed his toys, shoved and hit Near when in vincity, and verbally insulted him.

 

He would stop when an adult was present and Near never said anything for unknown reasons. And then it got worse.

 

It became known throughout the orphanage just how Mello treated Near and Roger had a talk with him about it but Mello persisted. And yet, Near never did anything.

 

When L learned about Mello and Near’s situation, he began to observe Mello and noticed the similarities between Mello and Beyond Birthday.

 

He stepped in when Mello finally did something to Near that was too hard to forget. Mello had locked Near in a closet and left him there for a whole day.

 

One of the other orphans, Linda, had found Near inside the closet, for the first time showing emotion as he was said to have hyperlating and crying. The closet door had been slammed by Near’s small hands and marked with dry blood.

 

Asked by Roger and Watari to talk to Mello, L relented and talked to him. At first, Mello was overjoyed to talk to L but also afraid of what he would do. However, what Mello did was never mentioned by L so he relaxed as L told him about the LABB case.

 

Mello had asked him questions about Beyond and L answered him to the best of his ability. Then L messed up but finally saw just how similar Mello and BB were.

 

He had been asked what L thought of BB and how different it was when he was younger. L responded by saying that he preferred the younger self of Beyond Birthday compared to the current one and without noticing, revealed that Beyond wouldn’t have been saved from this fate even if someone had tried to prevent it from happening.

 

Mello didn’t say anything for exactly five minutes and thirty-seven seconds. And when he finally did, he talked about his past hesitantly. And L listened closely.

 

Just like Beyond, Mello had grown up with abusive parents excluding the part that they were also part of the Mafia.

 

Just like Beyond, Mello had been bullied by the other kids who lived in the downtown of the city. One of the most insulting things that Mello hated was being called a girl.

 

Just like Beyond, Mello had to fight for food and himself to survive. Apparently, the reason why Mello loved chocolate was because it was the first candy he had eaten and offered by a kind elderly lady.

 

Just like Beyond, Mello was intelligent than all the people he had met in the city.

 

Just like Beyond, Mello was defensive and had anger issues when triggered by an offense.

 

L’s heart sank and from that meeting they had, every month they would talk again in secret from the orphans. Though Near probably suspected. And then one day, a redhead who called himself Matt appeared. 

 

Matt was ranked in third place but didn’t even care. He had an obsession with video games and was never seen without one. He even played them in class. He also always wore goggles on. But the one amazing thing that Matt could do and was very impressive was stop Mello from fighting with Near.

 

In their next meeting, Mello chatted about Matt and said that both had instantly clicked when meeting for the first time and were apparently roommates. But L noticed a bright smile on Mello’s face as he talked what he and Matt had in common.

 

And just like Beyond, Mello was destined to fall in love with the person who would be their best friend. 

 

Mello was BB and Matt was A.

 

How ironic, L mused, as he watched an unconsious Matsuda being carried off to another room.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matsuda is experiencing his first memory since the accident and a very important clue. Elsewhere, we finally get a glimse of two of our most favorite Whammy characters!(that's not L)

“Alright class,” Touta heard Yui-senpai holler out,” start heading to your assigned cabins and unpack. Meet me at the cafeteria in two hours.  _ And no fooling around.” _

 

Following Yui-senpai’s gaze, he flinched as soon as he realised she was staring at his bullies. Twitching nervously, he softly gulped when he remembered he had two of the bullies in Cabin M. 

 

Before leaving school, those who were going on the field trip had been informed of what cabin they would be in. There had been twenty-six cabins in total for camper excluding the adults but with the limit of five bunks per cabin, decisions had to made. Only 130 students would be able to go so the school had decided only the teens with non-failing grades and recommendations would go. Of course, that didn’t leave the proper amount so the students were asked if they wanted to go camping or not. It finally reached to the amount of students needed and from there, the staff began to decide who the people would be sharing a cabin with.

 

So on the Friday, the day before the camp trip, students were informed of their cabin mates. Touta had found out much to his dismay and fear that he would bunk up with Kamuzu Mamoru, Aino Rikai, Matsbura Mashiro, and Ichiya Rene.

 

Kamuzu Mamoru was an OK guy in Touta’s terms though he didn’t really know him that well. He was a brunette with light emerald green eyes. From what he knew of him, Kamuzu-kun didn’t really interact with anyone and was a reserved male. Yet Touta couldn’t help but admire him for being one of the top students at his school. 

 

Aino Rikai was a confusing guy though the few encounters he had had with him. He had aquamarine eyes that stood out with his deep honey hair. Aino always seemed to be relaxed and had a smile graced upon his lips with his eyes sparkling. But despite his appearance of a friendly guy, he loved to cause mayhem to others. Except for him, Touta thought, if the events that had happened at the beginning of the school year meant anything. 

 

While he had been walking around carelessly, he would’ve been run over with an ice cream cart if weren’t for Aino pushing him out of the way. After that incident, they sorta became friends and liked to hang out with each other. But after a month since they met, Aino distanced himself from Touta much to the other’s confusion.

 

It wasn’t until one day after school that Touta had found out why. Aino had been told about Touta’s bullies and warned to stay away from him if he didn’t want to be involved in his mess. Hurt by this, Touta quit attempting to talk to him and ignored his presence if he was ever close by.

 

However, Aino sometimes attempted to partner up with him for group activities or in sports. One time, Touta had been told to demonstrate how to play volleyball but much to his embarrassment, didn’t know how to play, and Aino had volunteered to do it instead.

 

It was almost as if he was trying to apologize for leaving him alone and did it through these small acts. Touta hated that and made him determined to quit having the male to quit having opportunities to help him on. He had never told Aino but he had been the first friend he had ever made.

 

Sighing, he took a small glance to look at Matsbura Mashiro and Ichiya Rene and quickly headed towards Cabin M.

 

Matsbura and Ichiya both had red shoulder-length hair and brown eyes. Their hair used to be different colors but had dyed it from a dare. They always fooled around but managed to get decent grades. They got along with everybody that wasn’t Touta and snitches.

 

Touta never understood what he had done to be a target for the boys but it had happened for as long as he could remember. He tried to tell a teacher when the bullying had first started but it only made things worse. 

 

It started with harsh insults and name calling but as they grew up it soon evolved into physical violence. Every student knew what was happening but never bothered to do anything except to give pitiful glances.

 

It was frustrating for him and silently cursed people for not taking action. Even the adults he knew, he cursed as well. Not only did he have problems at school but he was experiencing them at home as well.

 

When his father had started to stress over his work for his job was being a businessman, he began to drink. Touta was around 8-years old when this started happening and he didn’t understand what was going on until his mother was harshly striked against the face one Friday night.

 

He watched in horror on top of the staircase as soon as his mother fell to the ground and his father kept beating her up. Shortly after, Touta ran into his room and locked, afraid of what was going to happen next.

 

The next day, he woke up to a loud banging on the door and screamed in terror. He ran into the closet and began taking stuff to shove against the door in case the door was kicked down.

 

And that’s how he stayed like for the whole weekend, hiding inside his room, hungry and scared. When it was Monday, he got ready for school and left the house by his window.

 

Nobody noticed Touta’s change in personality as he was withdrawn from interaction. During this time, he hadn’t been bullied but it caused him to be wary of the males around him, even the other children.

 

Touta frowned and shook his head, sick of remembering his dark childhood. Entering the cabin, he immediately noticed Kamuzu-kun and Aino in the room.

 

“Matsuda,” Aino greeted but he ignored him and went directly to the single bed in corner. Sighing, he plopped onto the bed and stared blankly at the floor.

 

“Matsuda,” a soft but firm voice said. Looking up, he realised it was Kamuzu-kun who was addressing him. “Can we switch beds? I don’t feel comfortable being on top or at the bottom when a bed can fall at me at anytime.”

 

“Alright, Kumuzu-kun,” Touta got up and straightening the covers, reluctantly walked in front of Aino. “Do you want top or bottom?”

 

He noticed Aino flinch at his tone and quickly replied,”bottom” before reluctantly getting on said bed. 

 

Touta looked at the door before climbing to the top and studied the ceiling. Soon enough, he grew tired and just closed his eyes.

* * *

 

“Light-kun?”

 

“What is it, Ryuzaki?”

 

“What do you think caused Matsuda to act like... _ that _ ?”

 

Light frowned at that comment and turned away from the window, eyeing his secret boyfriend. Looking away a second after, he took a glimpse of Matsuda in the bed and sat down on the floor.

 

Ryuzaki, who was still standing at that moment, shifted away from Matsuda and joined Light.

 

“I wish I knew,” he muttered and felt arms wrap around him. He shifted closer and wrapped his hands around a pale one.

 

“I have reason to believe Matsuda seemed to have reacted from the words said after the hit he received. It would be reasonable that a memory was triggered and with it came the emotions,” Ryuzaki said bluntly as Light grimaced.

 

“You don’t think…he’s going to start remembering now… do you?” Light asked as he looked away from Ryuzaki and to the pale, now shivering form in bed.

 

“It is quite possible. But there are bigger concerns to fret over. If Matsuda does began to gain back his memories, there is a 23 percent chance it might not be a good thing. Tell me, Light-kun, how much do you know about Matsuda?” Ryuzaki scooted back a little as Light began to stand up.

 

“Honestly, I don’t really know him that well. I didn’t really interact with him during his stay at home either.”

 

Thinking, Ryuzaki slowly chewed his lip and walked back to Matsuda’s pale form. His eyes widened in morbid fascination as Matsuda began to stir and mutter.

 

“ _ Who… are you? What are... you?” _

 

Both conscious residents stilled and looked at each other. And then hell broke loose as a scream echoed throughout the hallway, alerting the rest of the taskforce.

* * *

 

“Bastards…” Touta mumbled as he wiped his mouth, a line of blood trailing down his face. Glaring darkly at the retreating forms of Matsbura and Ichiya, he grunted in pain as he tried to get into a sitting position.

 

He had been for the cafeteria when he had been pushed roughly by the two boys and then used as their doormat. 

 

Grumbling to himself, he began heading back to the cabin for a change of clothes. However, he froze when he heard a distant noise in the woods surrounding the cabins. He aimed to find the source of the noise and tried to listen closely to it.

 

_ “ _ - _ me!” _

 

Puzzled, Touta walked closer to the woods to try to understand what he had heard. And stumbled to the ground as a shriek echoed into the night, hearable for anybody who was trying to hear it.

 

“ _ Somebody help me!” _

 

Touta squinted in the dark as he could’ve sword he saw a flicker of light in the distance. Wait, there it was again!

 

Rushing to his feet, he ran after it, not realising until the morning how stupid he had been for not even alerting an adult.

 

The leaves crunched under his feet, twigs cutting into his flesh and branches hitting his face to the barely visible light distancing farther away. His breath became ragged and his eyes burned with pain as his lungs pleaded him to stop, still recovering from his recent injuries.

 

But despite this, he kept running, feeling the need to see what was up ahead. He was a few yards away when the light diminished. Confused, he stopped and stared.

 

Walking over cautiously, he walked into a small clearing and studied his surroundings. Out of the corner of his eye, he spotted something standing out from the dry ground and kneeled before a very healthy tree to study it. 

 

He slowly reached out to wrap his fingers around it before yelping in pain. Waving his hand in the air, Touta realised it had been a match he had seen from camp. But two questions remained; who had screamed for help and why was the match out?

 

In a seconds, though, one of his questions were answered. He heard a snap and quickly looked up, something dark heading to the ground. Jumping a few feet away, he watched whatever it was crash into the ground before a branch fell on top.

 

Quiet for a few seconds, his eyes widened as his brain registered what was in front of him: The corpse of a dead woman.

 

Silent, his breath started to sound heavier as horror consumed his entire being. He barely heard something land behind him and slowly turned to see what it was. It looked to be some sort of book but he wasn’t sure.

 

Vision blurring, he hesitantly reached for it. His fingers barely touched the cover before it was harshly pulled away and taken into the air. Touta looked up and he gaped in disbelief.

 

“AHHHHH!” Touta screamed in terror and scrambled away. He exclaimed, “ _ Who are you?! No, what are you? You’re a monster, aren’t you?  _ GET AWAY FROM ME!” before stopping as he stepped on something.

 

Tears began to fall as he realised he had accidently stepped on a lifeless hand. He lifted a trembling finger and accused the tall monster in front of him. “You killed her! You murderer!”

 

The monster in question simply ‘tch’ed in annoyance and began to walk forward. It had a large fish head skeleton for a head with twig-like things sprouting from the back of it as if it were supposed to be hair. It had an ugly wrinkled, faded shawl around its body shoulders and a furry white skirt around it’s bone hips which ended a bit past it’s thighs. In one of its skeleton hands was the book he had barely touched.

 

Whimpering, Touta screamed and headed back to camp, not caring about his appearance. He heard something flap into the air but didn’t dare to look back. He sprinted even faster and slammed open the cafeteria doors.

 

He heard gasps and shrieks began to echo around the room as he panted, falling on his knees in exhaustion. 

 

“Monster! Light… dead… she… oh god…” he cried out and felt bile rising up. He looked up to see the teachers and camp counselors rushing towards him.

 

“Touta, calm down! What happened? What’s wrong?” Yui-senpai said as she wrapped into a hug.

 

“His clothes…”

 

“He’s bleeding!”

 

“Quick, get the first aid kit!”

 

The students whispered amongst each other as the ones in Cabin M stared at Touta for different reasons. Kumuzu because he was alarmed to see a quiet classmate act hysterical. Aino because he was worried about him and wanted to rush over and comfort him as well but couldn’t move. Matsbura and Ichiya both wondering if they were finally going to be ratted out.

 

“She’s dead,” Touta sobbed out, “The monster killed her. I couldn’t save her! It was too late. The woods-” he fainted and stilled into Ms. Yui’s arms.

 

The adults in the room looked at each before the director of the camp barked out,” Atsushi, Miyako! Go into the woods and search!”

 

Ms. Yui shouted out,”Kids, go into the cabins and lock the doors. Nobody is to leave until told otherwise.”

 

The teens began to find their cabin mates and left the cafeteria, shooting looks at their unconscious classmate.

* * *

 

“What happened? We heard the screams!” Aizawa exclaimed as he rushed into the room, Soichiro and Mogi following after him.

 

They all looked to see Light and Ryuzaki struggling to keep Matsuda still from the chains wrapped around their wrists entangled with the bedsheets. Mogi ran past them and held Matsuda’s legs down.

 

“I changed my mind. It was wrong to presume at 23 percent. It is now 71 percent!” Ryuzaki said calmly as if he wasn’t struggling to keep an arm still or speaking over the shrieks emitting from Matsuda.

 

“Ryuzaki! Now is not the time!” Light shouted before looking over at his father and Aizawa. “One of you guys need to wake him up!”

 

“No, it could mental issues if-” Ryuzaki tried to say before being cut off.

 

“If we don’t, he could seriously injure himself!” Light glared at the two men and motioned with his head for one of the men to do something.

 

Soichiro walked over and stopped on Light’s left side. “Hopefully this works,” he muttered as he used one hand to forcibly shut Matsuda’s mouth and the other to close his nose.

 

Everybody watched in anticipation for something to happen. Suddenly, Ryuzaki, Light, and Mogi felt the limbs they were holding onto stiffen and loosened their grip.

 

Immediately after, Matsuda used his hand to shove the chief’s away. Gasping for air, he blearily opened his eyes.

 

“Matsuda, you’re awake!” 

 

Groaning, he blinked a few times as his vision began to adjust. But then he remembered his dream and quickly leaned to the side and vomited at Ryuzaki’s feet.

 

Silence consumed the room besides the sounds of Matsuda’s retching. Everybody waited for Ryuzaki to do something.

 

Ryuzaki looked down at his feet with blank eyes before his gaze moved to Matsuda to the rest of the males. He slowly nodded once and said,”I am going to take the chains off and take a shower. Light-kun, for the time being you will be chained to your father.”

 

Clearing the sheets, he raised his part of the chain and untangled it from the sheets. Walking over to Light, he shoved his free hand into his pocket and took out a key. He then proceeded to unlock his cuff and offered both items to Mr. Yagami who accepted them.

 

He then walked out the room just as Matsuda said,” Ryuzaki, I’m sorry.”

 

“It is alright. For now, focus on getting better.”

 

Light, who had been quiet until that point, shouted,”Wait, L! Don’t you dare get the carpets ruined!” obviously referring to their bedroom.

* * *

 

“L?”

 

“Hello Watari. I need you to do something for me.”

 

“What is it you need?”

 

“Get Mello on the phone. I need to speak of urgent matters with him as soon as possible.”

 

“Mello? May I ask why?”

 

“Right now, he’s the safest choice to talk to about this… dilemma we are currently facing.”

 

“...Very well.

 

“Thank you, Watari. When he wants to, Mello can very mature for his age.”

* * *

 

“DAMN YOU NEAAAR!”

 

Children scurried off as a young blonde marched off to Near’s room, very pissed off. 

 

“How mature, Mello,” a young redhead muttered to himself as he followed his best friend, playing a video game.

 

“Fuck you, Matt,” Mello snapped at his friend before grabbing a chocolate bar out of nowhere and dramatically bit a chunk off.

 

Matt looked up from his game and smirked. “I appreciate the offer but no thanks. I’m too young for that.”

 

Mello paused and turned to look at his friend. He gaped before scowling,”I’m going to pretend I never heard that. Besides, you’re thirteen now.”

 

“Still young. I ain’t some weirdo who wants to have sex at a young age,” Matt said, now distracted with the device in his hand. “No! Damn you, Mario!”

 

“Yeah…very sick,” Mello muttered quietly. He changed directions to head towards their room instead. He definitely needed more chocolate. Honestly, Matt would be the death of him one day.

 

“Mello!”

 

Cursing, Mello lifted Matt off the ground ( _ Put me down! _ ) and sprinted off. Behind them, a young girl, Linda, ran to where they had just been a few seconds ago and pouted.

 

“Fine then! I’ll just tell Roger you refused some important call!”

 

“Yeah, yeah. Who cares- IMPORTANT CALL! SHIT!”

 

“OW! Mello don’t lift me and then throw me to the ground! Honestly, you’re going to be the death of me.”


	5. Options

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello and L have a convesation that has a high probability of complicating things.

_ Whoosh! _

“Ah!”

“Ow!”

“Woah, what was that?!”

“That looks like a wind spirit!”

“No, it’s Mello! Get out of the way!”

Mello ignored them as he sprinted as fast as he could. He turned around a corner and there it was! Roger’s office.

Normally he wouldn’t be excited about going in there but L wanted to talk with him! Like L, the world’s greatest detective! The one who had confronted the other two greatest detectives and won! L, his role model and the one he aspired to be one day!

He paused, breathing hard and bubbling with excitement before taking a step forward. And tripped over his long dark blue pants.

“Oof!” Mello stayed on the ground for a moment before knee-running to the door. He slammed the door open and kneeled inside to Roger’s bewilderment and shock.

Roger shuddered as soon as he saw Mello smiling widely, looking more terrifying than the Joker himself. His smile was that terrifying.

“Where is he?” Mello demanded as he looked around suspiciously. He wiped his long- sleeved black shirt when he stood up and bounced on his toes impatiently. He had somehow lost his shoes on the way here.

“Ah yes,” Roger shifted uncomfortably before  looking down in his lap and said,”Mello has finally arrived, L.”

_ “Very good. May you pass me to him, R?” _

Mello gasped at the mention of the letter.  If he was using codenames then that meant that L was in some sort of horrible predicament.

He snapped out of his thoughts and held onto the laptop that was handed to him. Mello plopped onto the ground and sat cross-legged, laptop on his lap.

“ _ You are dismissed, R. Please make sure nobody will be able to hear this conversation.” _

“Yes L,” Roger said and left the room, leaving Mello and his idol alone.

“What’s wrong, L? Our next meeting isn’t until two more weeks,” Mello said with concern, his mind thinking of the worst scenarios the detective could possibly in.

“ _ I require your assistance with an important matter.” _

He blinked. Out of all the things he had thought of, he never would’ve considered L needing help as an option.

“ _ M? _ ”

“You...need my… help?” he asked in surprise as he looked at the screen with bulging eyes. At that moment, he felt like Kira had finally decided to gift him with a heart attack.

“ _ Yes. You specialise with emotions rather well than I do and I’ll need to use that ability for… a special case _ .”

“I’ll do it!” Mello cheered inside mentally and was doing his special Mello dance. “Of course I’ll help you L! You didn’t need to ask. So what do you want me to do.”

_ “I’m afraid it requires for you to travel to Japan as soon as possible. Soon meaning to leave the orphanage by tomorrow.” _

Eyes widening at this, he realised that this was really important if it meant that he had to leave this hellhole and actually have a chance at meeting L in person. But as he thought about, that also meant leaving Matt by himself.

The redhead that had been his only friend for as long as he could remember. The one who had the ability to calm him down and read him like a book. He couldn’t just leave his friend!

Conflict swirled inside of him and L must’ve realised this too for he asked,” _ What is troubling you?” _

“Can Matt come too?” he blurted out without thinking and clamped his mouth shut. He looked away in shame as he waited for L to say absolutely not. That his request was ridiculous. That if he is not careful, L will ask  _ Near _ instead for this mission. That-

“ _ I suppose Matt’s skills with technology will come in handy for this. If he agrees, he may come.” _

Mello brightened up and was about to say something-

“ _ But only if N comes along as well.” _

-until his mood dropped.

“N has to come too?” Mello whined in disappointment forgetting for just a moment who he was talking to.

“ _ Considering how N can be… quite shy with others, it would do him good to interact with others. He may even learn something from you.” _

I doubt it, Mello thought as he looked away gloomy. But he did consider the options. On one hand, if he left Matt, then he wouldn’t have to deal with Near. On the other hand, if he left Matt and came back afterwards, he’ll either be dealing with an emotional, clingy Matt or an apathetic, cold, and harsh Matt just to not have Near with him. 

Sighing, Mello came to one conclusion and hoped he wouldn’t regret it. He looked back at the screen and told L his choice.

* * *

 

L stared blankly at the dark screen after Mello ended the call. He slowly brought forth his thumb to his lips and bit harshly.

He had honestly not expected this. From personal experience, L knew that bad things were going to happen.

He just hoped this wouldn’t complicate things among his successors.

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mello and Matt have a conversation, and neither leave happy.

"You're… leaving?" Matt asked in disbelief, half-hoping Mello was joking with him. He watched as Mello sighed and began to pack a few necessities for the trip to Japan.

"I'm sorry, Matt. Really, I am. But this is my one chance to prove to L that I'm better than Near. Finally prove I'm worthy of being L's successor," Mello explained as he shoved a few identical shirts similar to his own in his backpack.

Matt went quiet as he tried to progress everything that had happened in the last hour: They had just seen the test results posted near Roger's office. They had been walking to their room after he had managed to calm down Mello before Linda approached them. Mello had then run off to Roger's office and came back stating he was leaving immediately to Japan and Matt was staying. He wasn't sure how to handle this but he thought up a few realistic scenarios: one, he could throw a hissy fit and demand Mello to stay; two, he could cry and cling onto his friend; or three, he could demand an explanation, maybe a few punches here and there, and cause Mello to falter. Either way, it all equaled to a girl's behavior breaking up with her boyfriend and pleading for said boyfriend not to leave. Or in his case, best friend. He decided to just do a mix of three and went after Mello with strong determination.

"You can't just leave!" Matt cried out and let the waterworks out, much to Mello's despair and chagrin. "We both promised we'd never separate from each other and I refuse to let you break it! Please Mello, just say you changed your mind and we can forget this ever happened!"

Mello, who had been struggling to get the teen off him, paused and stared at Matt with an unreadable expression. A flurry of emotions erupted inside of him before one dominated all the others: anger.

"Mel-"

"Just shut up! I already feel bad leaving enough as it is and I don't need  _you_  to make it worse than it is," he cried out and zipped his backpack up.

"Oh, so I'm the problem now, huh? That's rich, considering how much of a troublemaker you are," Matt fired back without thought and regretted it when Mello looked at him with hurt eyes.

" _This is a mission directly from_ _ **L**_ ," Mello hissed in frustration as he tugged at his hair," You know how much it means to me to be his successor! At least pretend you support me with my decision…"

"..." Matt stared at the other male and sighed in disappointment. They hadn't know each other for so long and yet, they had clicked at first glance. But Matt had been different back then, he hadn't interacted with anyone but Mello so he never had a chance to befriend the other orphans, including Near. He was shy and quiet and had only followed Mello out of curiosity. If he hadn't… what would be their relationship? Would he have been another one of Mello's victims?

"Matt, please say you support me," Mello pleaded as he walked closely and his eyes widened when Matt stepped back. "Matt…"

"I don't even know how I feel right now," Matt muttered, tears threatening to spill ,"My thoughts are so messed up inside that I can't even understand them. But I think I know the gist of it."

Mello stared at him, mouth open as guilt shot right through his heart. He didn't move as Matt looked at him straight in the eyes with watery eyes.

Voice choking, Matt brought forth the words that would leave a huge strain in their relationship not only in the present but also future. "I'm sad, hurt, angry, and disappointed. You plan on just abandoning me here all alone because L? For some person who we don't even know or look like! L could be some pedophile who just wants to take advantage of you!"

_Smack!_

Matt fell to the ground by the force of Mello's slap and stared angrily at the floor. His gaze shifted when Mello began to scream at him, his hands grabbing anything in his vicinity and throwing them to the ground.

"Damn it, Matt! You're a fuckin' bastard! I can't even believe you would imply that about the world's greatest detective. L is no god damn rapist and it's even outrages for you to think that. I thought you would understand but no! God you're just like some overgrown mutt! Wallowing in self-pity just because their owner is leaving them!"

Matt balled his fist and said nothing but watch as Mello stormed towards the door. Snarling, Mello glanced back and growled,"At least I won't have to deal with you anymore. You've always been a thorn at my side from the moment I met you."

With those final words, Mello slammed the door and yelling and complaints could be heard as kids were pushed out of his way.

Now that he was finally alone, Matt broke down and began to cry. He cursed Mello for making him feel like this. Damn that asshole!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for not updating sooner but I've been tired and stressed out lately despite it being winter break. My sport activities have literally confused my brain that I wasn't even sure what anything was anymore. Which is why I decided to update at least 2-3 times a month or just combine them in one single chapter. I can't guarantee this will be the exact schedule but I will try to update this story as well as my other fanfic. The next update will be sometime before the month ends. Depending on my schedule, I'll either keep continuing the story plot or I'll just post another scene from Matsuda's past.


End file.
